I recently have applied for university through UCAS and i had to also do a personal statement. When you send it through UCAS the teacher checks it and the teacher came up to me and said my personal statement is too good. I was shocked, lol. I suppose the teacher thought it wasn’t my own work and i had alot of help on it. But for real i sat up until 3AM in the morning to complete and was kind of hurt to find out the teacher didn’t think i was capable of producing the work i did. Still shocks me that there is such thing as a too good of a personal statement. lol

Your personal statement is alright, i would say you need to structure it more and as far as i’m concerned UCAS have a certain limit to how much you can write. Or maybe your applying to a uni that doesn’t do it through UCAS. Anyway i would advise you to read a few sample personal statements on the internet and find yourself a reliable and adequate structure. Cut out the blabber. "franking important documents", doesn’t sound right, perhaps you should use an alternative word and ask a teacher to check your work and give you helpful advise on what you can do.

In my PS the teacher told me to take quotes out which i personally thought added a great touch, but you have to understand other peoples opinions but also keeping in mind this is your PS. I don’t know why but i feel English is not a language you are comfortable with? Do you not speak English that good?

Well good luck! Let me know how well you get on!
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